Motherhood Mondays: What baby names do you like?

My darlings, on this Motherhood Monday, I'd love to talk about baby names! Do you have favorites? When Alex and I first found out that we were expecting a child, we were so giddy (and, um, surprised:) that we couldn't sleep. So we found ourselves in our dark living room at 2 a.m. brainstorming names. Our top boy's names were Toby, Julian, Charlie, and Elliot (ahh, I still love Elliot). For girl's names, I liked Sophie, and he liked Samantha, but we couldn't decide on one that we both loved. (Girls names are surprisingly tough!)

My friend Nora told us a funny way to analyze names: The Blind Date Test. Pretend someone is setting up your college-aged child on a blind date. They'd ask, "Hey, want to meet my friend Toby?" Now think: How would you picture that person, just based on the name? Would you want to meet them? It's a surprisingly good way to get a feel for the name, don't you think? :)

There are also such cool unusual names these days. Toby's friends include Zelda, Quinn, Sailor, Elodie and Meriwether. (Aren't those all amazing?) The Baby Name Voyager shows you how popular every name has been since the 1880s. (Warning: It's totally addictive.)

So, I'd love to ask: What baby names do you like? Do you prefer offbeat names, or would you stay more traditional? Would you name your child after a relative? Do you like your own name? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

P.S. This baby name book looks great:
(Top photo by Raul Gutierrez)

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Motherhood Mondays: On having a boy

My darlings, sorry for the late post today! I've been thinking about this one all day, and finally had a chance to write it out.

So, I'd love to ask: When you think of having children, do you ever secretly hope for a boy or a girl? Even though people don't really talk about it, I actually think it's really common to wish for one or the other.

When you're pregnant, the most important thing on your mind, of course, is having a healthy baby. Anyone who is given that gift is blessed beyond belief. I definitely did not take that for granted and felt hugely lucky to be having a baby.

But also, in my heart of hearts, when we found out we were going to have a baby, I secretly hoped that we would have a girl. I had always imagined having a daughter and doing all those fun girly things together--playing with dolls, going to ballet lessons, having heart-to-heart mother/daughter conversations, and doing all the classic (and cliched) things that are part of girlhood. I loved being a girl (and am really close to my own mom); and thought it would be such fun to raise one.

So when we found out that we were expecting a boy, I was so excited and couldn't wait to meet the little man. But part of me couldn't help secretly feeling a little disappointed. I felt really guilty for feeling that way (was I a terrible person? the gender shouldn't matter as long as the baby is healthy, right?), but the feeling remained. I had always pictured having a daughter...and now we weren't.

Plus, I kept thinking about how didn't know a single thing about boy stuff. The guys in my family are really male--they all are obsessed with motorcycles and pranks and windsurfing and whisky. Would Alex and our baby bond over sports, while I wouldn't be able to share that with them, I wondered? When we were growing up, my brother and dad talked endlessly about motorcycle parts and car racing; what if my baby boy wanted to talk about cars? I didn't know a thing about them--or care! And I'm a wuss about rollercoasters and swimming in the ocean and those types of boy-ish rough-and-tumble activities. What if he were into those things? Would I be the lame mom sitting nervously on the bench while my son bonded with all the more adventurous types?

I really worried that I wouldn't be able to connect to a boy...or, more aptly, that he wouldn't connect to me.

But then.

Toby arrived.

Once the doctor put my red-faced, wrinkly, sweet, beautiful baby boy into my arms, EVERYTHING changed.

I can tell you with all my heart, now that Toby has entered our lives, it is the most incredible, moony experience, and now I CANNOT imagine having anything other than my delicious baby boy. When he was brand new, he was so tiny, vulnerable and sweet. When I breastfed him, and he'd snuggle up and put his little hand on my chest and look into my eyes, I would just swoon.

Now that he's eleven months old, he is so lovely and has such a sweet, open demeanor. He giggles, he coos, he stands on full tippy-toe. He touches my face with serious concentration. He loves reading books and eating pears and looking out the window. Sometimes when he's asleep at night, I'll tiptoe into the nursery just to lean down and put my head near his; I love seeing his out-of-proportion body sleeping there: his big head, small shoulders, big diaper butt, and short legs. I pat his back and smell his sweet milky breath. I am totally enamored and enchanted by him. He is my little man, my lovely little boy.

Having a son has turned out to be the most amazing thing, and my apprehensions and fears seem so silly now. I'm so excited to bring him up, and previously boring things like baseball and water pistols are suddenly super thrilling, since I see them through his sweet little eyes. The other day, I was riding my bike downtown and saw a dinosaur-shaped balloon and couldn't stop thinking about how cool it was. :)

Oh, how Toby has opened my eyes!

Anyway, I thought I'd tell you, my sweet readers, since people don't often talk about their preferences for a boy or a girl (it seems like it shouldn't matter) but I think it's very normal to initially crave one over the other. And I wanted to be honest and share how needlessly worried I had been. I'm curious: Do you secretly hope for a boy or girl? How have your thoughts changed, if you've had a baby? I'm so curious to hear -- from everyone from mamas and mamas-to-be! Leave your comment anonymously, if you'd like!

(Photo credit unknown, via Abby Sharp)

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Motherhood

It's amazing how much you love your own child. Although motherhood can be hard sometimes, and the juggle of work vs. life vs. baby can feel impossible to get right, Toby and his little bald head and his powdery/milky scent and his drooly smile and his throaty laugh make me so moony every time.

They say that when you have a baby, your heart lives outside you, and that phrase has come to mind so many times since Toby was born. It even feels physical: Funnily enough, when I'm away from him, like at a work meeting or dinner with friends, I often get a constant nagging feeling that I've left something behind; I keep checking my pockets for my cell phone and my wallet and my keys, and then I realize, oh, yes, of course, I left behind my Toby!

I read a great Carl Jung quote the other day: "Loneliness does not come from being alone, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important." And I realized that I'd love to talk more about the real-life, day-to-day experiences of being a new mom. So I'm excited to start a new weekly series called Motherhood Mondays, where we can talk openly about everything from babysitters to breastfeeding (and Alex will finally share his side of our birth story). (And is there anything specific you'd like to talk about or have been wondering about?) Much love to you all! xoxo

(Photos by Alex)

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Tragedy of the first position

This adorable video has been making the internet rounds, but I can't help reposting it! She's trying so hard! Ahh, I can't stop laughing. What a sweetie. :)

P.S. Ballet boys and marshmallow willpower.

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Baby food

Now that Toby is eight months old, he has been eating more solid foods. We've given him pretty basic foods so far (carrots, bananas), and I'm not loving the baby-food jars. Then yesterday I flipped through this inspiring book, which encouraged a surprisingly wide range of real foods for young babies, including pork chops to teeth on and egg yolks with salt.

Fellow mamas, I'd love to ask you: What did you feed your babies? I would be so grateful for tips!

(Clip-on high chair by Phil & Teds; kerchief bib from Bink & Boo)

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Babies in Paris

My mom also sent us some photos of our family in Paris, right after my sister and I were born. I totally adore this breastfeeding photo, it looks so tender and made me a little teary. Here are more photos from Paris...
And I'm also amazed that her clothes look so current!
You can see Versailles in the background...
My mom delivered us by C-section at the American Hospital of Paris and stayed for a whopping ten days afterwards to rest. My mom also said the hospital food was amazing, including slices of Camembert.
The view from the Eiffel Tower...
I really loved looking through these; thank you so much, Mama! It was the best birthday present.

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Pregnant in Paris

This weekend, my mom dug out a bunch of old photos from when she was pregnant with Lucy and me. They were so much fun to see. My parents had just moved from the U.S. to France, and they thought they were having just one baby (they didn't expect twins!). My mom described what the experience was like...

"When we moved to Paris, I was already pregnant and very excited," my mom told me. "We went to French restaurants every night and explored Paris and surrounding towns on the weekends. During the day while Dad worked, I would walk through Le Vésinet, a beautiful residential district, to St. Germain en Laye, where I would have tea and a croissant and write letters home. Some days I would go swimming at a public indoor pool on the way back. I had a fitted black maternity suit--very sexy and French! Once on the way home, I was craving a hamburger, so I stopped for lunch. It was delicious. As I left the cafe, I saw a poster with an outline of a horse, saying that the special of the day was hamburger a la cheval!"

"During my pregnancy, Daddy and I called the baby 'Freddie' and whenever we visited a gorgeous French cathedral--Notre Dame, Chartres--we would always light a candle for 'Freddie.' "

"In early January, I was eight months pregnant. My belly was quite big, and my doctor was worried that something might be wrong. Dad was on a business trip, so I went alone to the Hôpital Américain de Paris for a sonogram...

"I was lying on my back with the cold jelly on my belly and the technician said, 'Je vois un bébé.' I smiled, and he kept working. Then he said, 'Ooh la la! Je vois deux bébés.' I was stunned! Twins! He kept working and then he exclaimed, 'Mon dieu, je vois trois bébés!' Triplets! He was a bit flustered and wanted a second opinion so said he was going to get a doctor and left the room. I lay there thinking, 'Hmm. I only have two arms, but I am going to have three babies!' When the two doctors came back, they took another look and finally said, 'Madame, you are definitely having two babies only!' I thought, 'Only two! That'll be a cinch!' Later I wondered if they had worked some clever psychology on me..."

"When I left the hospital that afternoon, I was so excited. I passed a little shop and spotted this cute mouse doll with two mouse babies! I bought it, and when I met Dad at the airport the next day, I gave it to him. He was perplexed and just looked at it (Why was I giving him a stuffed mouse?). Then it dawned on him, 'Oh my gosh! Are you serious?' He was shocked but thrilled. The next week we lit candles at a church for 'the Freddies!' "

(Next I'd love to share a few from after we were born, if you'd like to see...:)

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Breastfeeding in public

Yesterday, Alex, Toby and I went on a leisurely walk around the West Village. (It was such a pretty fall day!) Toby breastfed a couple times while we were out, and Alex took a few photos, which I figured I'd share.

Since Toby was born, I've met so many wonderful moms who are nervous about breastfeeding in public--they worry that people will give them weird looks or say something negative, or they just feel uncomfortable baring a boob.

I totally understand that, and when I was pregnant, I thought I might be shy, too. But once Toby was born, I actually found myself feeling surprisingly passionate about breastfeeding in public. After all, I figured, I'm feeding a child, and what's more important than that?

I was also really encouraged by my friend Leigh and her blog (she writes a lot about breastfeeding). When Toby was one week old, I breastfed him in public for the first time, and I actually texted Leigh to thank her for inspiring me. She wrote back, "You fierce, fearless mama! You go right ahead." I loved that. :)

When I was pregnant, I had also read a few stories about restaurant owners or random passersby saying negative things to nursing women now and again, so I came up with a phrase that I'd have at the ready, just in case. Want to hear it? :) I planned to say, "It's my legal right to breastfeed my baby anywhere in public or private; if you have a problem with it, you can look away." Haha, sounds dramatic, but I felt good knowing that I'd have a reply, if the situation ever arose! Luckily, strangers have actually been great. You know, 99% of the time, people don't even notice that you're breastfeeding (it's so subtle!); and when they do realize it, people have even walked by and said, "Aw, that's so sweet," or "Isn't that beautiful?" which was a nice surprise.

Overall, I'd love to encourage women to feel proud to nurse their sweet babies in public. As you can see from the photos, it's really modest (the baby's head covers up almost everything; and I'm also wearing a Boob nursing shirt). At this point, I've ended up breastfeeding Toby all over the city, and it has been a wonderful, fun, cozy, intimate, freeing experience. Now I barely think twice about it! I just bust out the boob!

Anyway, I want to give a huge thumbs up to all you mamas out there, no matter what you choose to do! If you don't want to breastfeed in public, by all means, don't; but if you do want to or are thinking about it, please feel encouraged to go for it. And know that I'll be here in the blogosphere, rooting you on. xoxoxo

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10 things to wear as a nursing mother

A few readers have requested a post about nursing wear, so I thought I'd share my ten favorite things from the past five months, in hopes that it might be helpful...

Clockwise from top left:

1. Not to sound like a broken record, but I am in love with Gap skinny jeans. They're flattering, not-too-expensive and perfect for new moms. (And if you don't believe me, take it from Jenny and Abbey, too!)

2. When carrying a baby around town, I've been surprised how tricky it is to juggle a regular diaper bag and balance it over one shoulder. So instead I've gotten hooked on backpacks. At first I figured that I'd look like a dorky seventh grader, but I love the backpacks from etsy shop LetsPlayAllDay. She even makes them in stripes and polka dots!

3. The Ergo is the comfiest baby carrier I've used, by far. It's easy to put on, and Toby can cuddle up against my chest as we walk around the city.

4. Ray-Bans somehow miraculously manage to make you feel cool even when you're covered in spit-up.

5. Stud earrings, like these stars, are pretty and can't be grabbed and pulled by little hands.

6. Boob nursing wear is, hands down, the best nursing wear I've found. The Swedish brand makes adorable, uber-flattering T-shirts, tank tops, dresses, and even hoodie sweatshirts with a subtle fold-over flap that you just lift up a little when you want to breastfeed. I wear these all around New York City and feel very comfortable and modest when feeding Toby, even as countless strangers walk right by us. It's surprisingly hard to find Boob designs in the U.S., but thankfully Due Maternity (and the Upper Breast Side, if you live in New York) carry some of their pieces. (Update: Erica let me know you can order from Stockholm Objects, too. Yay!)

7. With a baby in your arms (or in the Ergo), it's hard to bend over to tie your shoes. So slip-on shoes come in handy! French Bensimon shoes are cute and comfy, and Minnetonka moccasins and striped espadrilles would work well, too.

8. Nursing bras can be hideously functional, but Elle Macpherson nursing bras are (surprise!) super sexy. When the lace at the top peeks out under your a V-neck tee, it looks like a flirty camisole.

9. These days, many people use their cell phones to check the time, but when I have Toby in my arms, it's not always easy to grab around for my phone. So I've started wearing a cheap Timex men's watch, which I really like.

10. Finally, as a nursing mom, your breasts might leak milk. (We were at brunch with friends a few months ago, and milk literally started dripping through my T-shirt onto the table. Awkward!) But if you tuck Lansinoh nursing pads into your bra, they absorb the milk and prevent leaking. Now I wear them night and day. (Bonus: They also make your boobs look bigger :)

Hope this helps -- and huge congratulations to all you new moms and moms-to-be out there!

P.S. Breastfeeding in public.

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